life after the ball

Through our marriage counseling we were taught to think beyond the wedding day. The wedding took so much planning but the life that is led after it is so much more important. We had an amazing one week honeymoon in North Carolina. It was the weirdest thing: no children,
no agenda, no mess to clean up, no alarm clock or children to wake us up. However, the week feels so short in retrospect. We came home to a week of work and two children that are needy, dependent, yet trying to be independent, and want your attention at all times. Every night I had my routine to do: laundry,cook, clean up, make lunches, give baths, read a book, pray and go to bed. In the middle of all that I tried to fit in some time to sit with the children and play. I feel so overwhelmed by the tasks of everyday life that I feel like I don't spend time with my family. I was so burdened by that. I always have been. By the time the children were in bed, I finally looked at Michael and thought, wow! I haven't even talked to you all day. Then we would get ready for bed and do anything that needed to be done and by that time I am ready for bed. So as newly weds we are experiencing the life that others might experience 2 or even 5 years down the road. I am envious of young couples that I see without children that get to date....just even go out to dinner whenever they want. I am so sad that I didn't get that experience. But I have to trust that God is going to work it out and that He will bless our life together. That He will allow Michael and I the time we need to get to know each other better and to be intentional about making that time. So this is my life. It is messy, it is unpredictable, and tiresome. I don't know that I even sit down anymore just to relax. It is not the fairy tale that my wedding day was. On most days I don't feel like Cinderella at the ball but the Cinderella that worked, and worked hard. I clean floors, I get told what to do by two year olds, i need this, i need that. But as I reflect on the childhood story, the Cinderella at the ball and in the fairy tale is just a dream...the fantasy always ends, the clock always strikes midnight. It did for Cinderella and it does for us. Life is really lived and lived best in reality, in the rags and the hard work. For that is where our true character is found. That is where our faith is tested. That is where God meets us and changes our broken heart. This where I find GRACE. If I was still seeking and living in my fairy tale...I would of never learned about God's goodness and about my need for Him. So as a whole picture....I love my life. I love my husband and I love my children. And everyday I am learning how to live in the rags and enjoy life after the ball.

gingerbread houses, santa, and christmas sweet lovin'

It does get cold in Florida sometimes...

brother and sister

wow, we actually got a picture of all of us

Lele (Hunter made this name up) and her new baby McKenzie

Hunter and his new truck

Leasey loves her Naw-Naw

Yummy, the smell of gingerbread cookies

our family gingerbread house

I was so excited about Christmas this year. It was the weirdest feeling of being the adult though. I felt like I was living out my life as a child again. I loved Christmas as a child. I couldn't really sleep the night before. This Christmas was the same. I couldn't wait for Elyse and Hunter to get up and see all of their presents from Santa and mommy and daddy. I dreamed about the excitement all night. We had a great week that week. We spent time with my mom, michael's parents, and then my dad and lori's on Christmas day. I am sad the break it almost over.

burgundy, brown, gold, and leopard... It is all in the details!

I loved all of the small details of the wedding. I wanted to give props to all of the lovely people who helped us have such a glorious day. The pictures helped me to go back and see the things I didn't get to see on that day due to the overwhelming pace of the day. It was gorgeous in my opinion.

Our Wedding Party and sweet friends....
Thank you for all of your dedication and love to us.
We are so glad you could all celebrate in our special day.

Thanks Ed for counseling us and sticking with us for so long. You truly earned the right to marry us. You have helped us sort out so much. You have helped us to learn the meaning of really loving each other and forgiving each other as Christ has forgiven us. Thank you for all you have done.

Our parents. Thank you for standing beside us through it ALL. You are why we made it to this day and will continue to make it. WE love you and are so glad you helped make the day possible.

The yummy food. We enjoyed our wedding snacks even after the wedding....the chicken salad was amazing!!!! Carita did a wonderful job and has an amazing heart.

This picture was taken by Meagan Van Ost and I think it is so precious. The congregation stretched their hands to us on the last prayer for a blessing. I am so thankful for all of the people that came to support us and encourage us. I am so thankful for the people in the ceremony and for our families that put so much time, money, and energy into making this day fairy tale perfect.

My gown that matched the southern flare of Bradley's Pond

The music was amazing and the musicians are so talented. It totally added to the greatness of the day.

The sparklers at the end were a picture perfect way to leave the reception

We had a stunning photographer. His company is called Lewis Johnson Photography. I highly recommend him. He caught all of the important moments on camera. He went above and beyond our expectations. He was worth every penny.

Check him out at lejphotography.com

The flowers by Edna Hall at Touch of Glass Florist (Havana)
so sweet and easy to work with...

The picture votives (idea from Emily)....
Mrs. Jane, helped me set up everything...she was the biggest help and blessing

The Florida State glasses....that we love to drink our wine in at night....

The wedding cake that my cousin Tara made (Jacksonville)
I loved it...classic with a monogram

The monogrammed dresses

The programs with the leopard ribbon

The Groom's Table

The leopard shoes were personally my favorite touch

The chocolate brown tuxes

Mr. and Mrs. Millender

I don't believe in fairy tales. But on November 15th I feel as if I played the leading part. I was the princess and my prince met me with an embrace of love. We took hands, we felt the sun shining on our face as friends and family surrounded us. I felt loved, so dearly loved. We danced, we smiled, and I felt beautiful. I smiled more that day than most days. It was glorious.

The morning started off very dreary and wet. I was very worried that the weather would not cooperate with my plans. Of course I had everything planned the way it needed to go. If you know me, you know that I had millions of checklists and delegated tasks for people. I even had plans for the weather. However, it was just like life to wake up to circumstances that were not what I had wanted. I prayed...thinking: Does God really care about the weather for this day? But I continually prayed and asked that His glory would be shown either way. As the day went on most of the plans seemed to come together, however, as I was getting in the car to go to the ceremony it was drizzling and dreary. I was still getting married outside even in a misty rain but I desired the sun. I took my pictures with my family and bridesmaids and we took them on the porch to avoid the raindrops. Then I went to my bridal room and waited...as the my groom arrived outside. It was 3:00 and I had no idea what was going on outside. As I waited and anticipated seeing my groom tons of thoughts ran through my head. I had not been nervous or even had time to think during the day. As my bridesmaids left to walk down the aisle, I was alone for what seemed like forever. I had a dear sweet lady, Jane Cartledge, see me and she prayed for me. I began to cry. Not because I was sad because the love of Jesus just ran over me. It showered me and for a minute the last two years of my life played back like a movie. I thought of God's love and faithfulness to me and how He had brought Michael, Hunter, and his family into my life and Elyse's. I thought about how God had done amazing and great things, not because He had to but because He loves me and His grace and blood covers me. I was quickly taken back as my dad came to walk me down the aisle. I knew that I would just cry once I saw the crowd, heard the music, and saw Michael. But I didn't cry. My eyes lit up and I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I got down front and the first words out of my mouth were..." It is sunny." And I began to laugh. As a matter of fact, I laughed through the whole ceremony. I didn't shed one tear. I just briefly want to share why I laughed (it was not due to an excessive amount of wine before the ceremony:) . I laughed because I was just amazed with how God had shown up again, He made the sunshine on my wedding day at just the right time. It was like a kiss from heaven, His face shining down upon us, His blessings, His grace, His mercy, like I should of expected anything less. All of this washed over me, as I sang hymns of praise and made a lifetime covenant with God and my husband and my children. It just couldn't of been better. I couldn't of felt more beautiful. I couldn't of felt loved more by my family, my friends, my husband, and my God. He has pursued me and continues to. As much as the love of my husband makes me feel so worthy, the love of God is what really fulfills me to the core of my being...because I was made for this.

I don't have time to maintain these regrets...

A song that makes me cry when I hear it...

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He LOVES US.

SLAM...

Don't eat the bird seed...it's for the birdies boys and girls