Through our marriage counseling we were taught to think beyond the wedding day. The wedding took so much planning but the life that is led after it is so much more important. We had an amazing one week honeymoon in North Carolina. It was the weirdest thing: no children,
no agenda, no mess to clean up, no alarm clock or children to wake us up. However, the week feels so short in retrospect. We came home to a week of work and two children that are needy, dependent, yet trying to be independent, and want your attention at all times. Every night I had my routine to do: laundry,cook, clean up, make lunches, give baths, read a book, pray and go to bed. In the middle of all that I tried to fit in some time to sit with the children and play. I feel so overwhelmed by the tasks of everyday life that I feel like I don't spend time with my family. I was so burdened by that. I always have been. By the time the children were in bed, I finally looked at Michael and thought, wow! I haven't even talked to you all day. Then we would get ready for bed and do anything that needed to be done and by that time I am ready for bed. So as newly weds we are experiencing the life that others might experience 2 or even 5 years down the road. I am envious of young couples that I see without children that get to date....just even go out to dinner whenever they want. I am so sad that I didn't get that experience. But I have to trust that God is going to work it out and that He will bless our life together. That He will allow Michael and I the time we need to get to know each other better and to be intentional about making that time. So this is my life. It is messy, it is unpredictable, and tiresome. I don't know that I even sit down anymore just to relax. It is not the fairy tale that my wedding day was. On most days I don't feel like Cinderella at the ball but the Cinderella that worked, and worked hard. I clean floors, I get told what to do by two year olds, i need this, i need that. But as I reflect on the childhood story, the Cinderella at the ball and in the fairy tale is just a dream...the fantasy always ends, the clock always strikes midnight. It did for Cinderella and it does for us. Life is really lived and lived best in reality, in the rags and the hard work. For that is where our true character is found. That is where our faith is tested. That is where God meets us and changes our broken heart. This where I find GRACE. If I was still seeking and living in my fairy tale...I would of never learned about God's goodness and about my need for Him. So as a whole picture....I love my life. I love my husband and I love my children. And everyday I am learning how to live in the rags and enjoy life after the ball.
